Practices for a Purposeful Day

My sister, Kathleen, in her apartment when she was teaching English in Granville, France. I think of this time in her life as particularly clear in purpose and motivation, a luxury we should all have at some point in our lives.

Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like you’ve just been dragged through it by forces beyond your control or understanding?

I’m a yoga instructor. I’ve learned all sorts of tools during my trainings for increased mindfulness and intentionality, but I’ve always struggled to consistently integrate those tools into my daily life. 

I’m a human living in the world, consuming media. I’m very aware of the obsessive self-care epidemic that’s metastasized throughout my generation over the past few years. I’m intrigued by some of the wellness trends I see and annoyed by others, but like all the masses of people trying and posting about them I, too, want to feel more well more often. 

Then there’s the obsessive productivity movement that is positioned as complementary to the self-care craze but is so often totally contradictory. Optimize myself, you say? Yeah, sure, that sounds vaguely positive - what do you suggest?

Of course, there are endless combinations of routines I could set and follow to bring some ordered mental clarity to my life. Just search “morning routine” on Youtube and you’ll find pages upon pages of videos featuring would-be internet celebrities who’ve found one that works for them, or at least is good enough to publish.

The thing is, I chronically rebel against routine. As soon as I tell myself I’ll do something at the same time every day or week, my brain files it away into a moldy old folder of things I must only think about in the context of feeling guilty that I’m not doing them.

Sure, I want to read and write every day. I want to do yoga every day and I want to take a walk outside every day. I want to rock climb at least three times a week and start lifting weights. I want to keep a gratitude journal and make time to have dinner with a friend at least once a week. I want to do a deep clean of the house and call my mom and meal prep and write people letters and volunteer and start a garden and boy if only I could just decide on a specific time each week to do those things just imagine how much I would get done and how happy I would be and -- OH GOD WHAT A FRICKIN’ NIGHTMARE!

Could I sit down with a calendar and block out daily and weekly schedules that perfectly balance my work, rest, health, relationships, creativity, and free time to the point that I never have to decide to do anything ever again? Could I automate my life?

...Maybe. But I don’t think so. I’m 26. Kindergarten and summer camp are no longer even the tiniest specks on the horizon in my rearview mirror. This is adulthood. Shit comes up, and I have to be ready to adapt and address it when it does. Plus, I like being agile. There is certainly a place for getting into habits that make it easier to accomplish goals, but I’m not convinced rigid routines are the answer to productivity and purposeful time management.

So, instead of creating a routine, I wanted to create a sort of daily pep talk for myself. Something to remind myself, without being too pushy or controlling or micromanaging, of the things that keep me feeling purposeful, happy, and like I’m living up to my values.

I call it Practices for a Purposeful Day, but I like to think of it as a sort of manifesto. Ironically, I’ve created a routine around it, but it’s a short and simple one that’s easy enough to uphold. I meditate for 5 minutes in the morning, and after my meditation, when my head feels a little clearer, I read this list out loud to myself. That way, I prime my brain with ideas that are important to me instead of just launching into the day’s tasks.

This primer gives me mental points I can touch throughout the day to help myself make better decisions in the moment - choosing to be understanding instead of annoyed with poor customer service or traffic fouls, choosing to drink tea instead of wine, choosing to call a friend instead of text, to pick up a book instead of scrolling through Instagram, to not skip the yoga class, to bring my water bottle from home.

It’s easier to do the things I want (instead of the things that are easier), when I take the time to remind myself why it is I want to do those things. The particular action points will change from day to day, week to week, decade to decade, but the principles behind them won’t, and that’s where the consistency comes from.

So that’s it. That’s all it is. No checklists, no schedules, no rewards for good behavior. I’m just putting these ideas in my head every morning with my manifesto like they used to put patriotism into our heads every morning with the Pledge of Allegiance. Except I wrote it, so it’s a hell of a lot more potent.

I’ve already seen myself being more mindful of the choices I’m making throughout the day, and even catch myself flashing back to the list when I notice I’m behaving in a way that honors it, like a little mental gold star. It’s fun!

I hope this list can serve as a resource if you find yourself in need of something similar. If you create one of your own, please share it with me! I’d love to see what mental touchpoints other people find important. Send it to sarah@veryserious.co.